Friday, September 23, 2011

Rain Rain Rain Makes for a Productive Me Me Me

It's pouring the rain today and I'm loving it. I've got a bum knee, strained calf and nerve entrapment of the right quad. Joy! Oh, but it is. I awoke after another 9 hours of rest to the pounding of rain on my window. It was wonderful, the intensity ebbs and flows and I find it purely meditative creating and great work environment.

I only had to do 10 push ups yesterday for saying the secret word. And, the day before I was tricked and ended up doing an extra 30. Needless to say, I keep quiet, a rather difficult task.

All morning I've been working on speaking and book ideas and with the help of Dan Kennedy, feel like I'm actually getting somewhere.

I didn't train this morning and I am hesitant to blast my leg tomorrow with a double session but we'll see. I miss Gi training immensely and Olympic weightlifting.

Right now I'm just taking advantage of this creative flow and isolating myself in my room. It feels great to be so productive, I'm quite happy and actually don't miss training for a couple days.

I'm eager to get back home and start working on my James Malinchak coaching set that arrived a few days ago. I almost wish my boyfriend hadn't told me it was there! I also miss cooking late night snacks for my sweetie and I'm looking forward to my next concoction.

Okay, back to work, gotta get some cooking ideas going as well.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Injured But Not Broken and a Grilled Cheese

Today and tomorrow I'm off from training. Just like any 10 year old who feels her injury is getting better and pushes too hard because she was having fun, well, you know how the story ends. Your injury wakes up with a vengeance and now you're forced to rest.

So, today is dedicated to studying some Dan Kennedy marketing systems and ideas for a book, speaking and a cooking show. Hey, if our wrestling coach did a video series on how to cook when cutting weight for competing why can't we have a show?

Since my right knee and leg have made me a gimp and I'm holed up in my room with nothing but my laptop and a legal pad, I might as well put the time to good use. Plus squeeze in a nap too.

I never knew how much I loved to sleep until coming to Master Lloyd's to train. A two or three hour nap is oh so sweet after a heavy training session. And, sleeping 9-10 hours has become the norm.

I was also given 'Book of Five Rings' by Miyamoto Musashi to read. I've read half of it and it is quite interesting. Much more spiritual than I thought; I was ready for pure anger and blood shed and kill kill kill. I alternate reading it with my book from home 'The Way to God' by Gandhi.

The time off will be good for my mind and allow to me recharge my near dead battery. All the while I keep thinking of cooking ideas for a show. I'd like to start with the all time favorite at my home, the 1am Grilled Cheese. Why does 1am matter? Simple, I'm tired and getting ready for bed and ask my sweetie pie boyfriend if he is still hungry. I indicate that 'the kitchen' will be closing at 1am and I have enough energy to make him a grilled cheese.

Time to study and take some notes!

Monday, September 19, 2011

A Few Random Pictures








This is Keenan after MMA Sparring. He's a great guy!

Great night of sparring and getting whooped. I was spared the wrist lock for many arm bars, woot woot!

I got to train with some MMA guys too! CRAZY FUN! I couldn't stop smiling. One young man said I looked like I had so much fun tonight. I immediately explained to him how frustrated I was this morning, just like him. I did some writing and studying on my own, different subjects and now just hanging with a movie. The tank is full. Goodnight. Better pics soon!

No More Wrist Locks!

Alright, I'm determined not to get wrist locked again today. Dammit, I'm just leaving my floppy ol' wrist right out there and BAM! Hurts like hell too.

After getting my whooping this morning I felt I had sunk to a bit of a low. Then, the blue belt who has been tooling me talked to me I felt way better. That and talking to my boyfriend about how no matter how much I get schooled I will come back a better athlete. Hell, I was wondering if I needed to give BJJ up and just stick to Olympic Weightlifting.

I knew this would happen, the doubt, the fear, crying; all the shit bubbling up daily and how do I deal with it. And, being in a career transition as well. How do I turn this in to a 'vacation' as someone mentioned to me earlier today. But, now, with a nap underhand and taking some time to brainstorm on some writing and speaking ideas I found peace of mind. Yes, sounds friggin' cheesy as hell but I have a deep spiritual side that needs to be tended, developed and expressed.

I'm missing the 1am feedings of my sweetie pie man! I believe the all time favorite is a grilled cheese, easy to make and he enjoys it so much. Wish I could make him one now.

Time to go back for training session number two and have some real fun and enjoy being around athletes who are pushing me! Have some fun and get some toilet paper! Chipotle napkins will do for now. At least we don't have to revert to the Coldwater Catalogue that just arrived.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sunday's: No More Booze!

After a hard ass week of training like a freak I thought I'd get some wine and relax with the fights last night. BAD IDEA!

Not drinking enough water and having two big glasses of wine equals a Sunday of total nausea and some more puking. Not the good kind of puking from a monstrous workout, I could only wish.

So, no more booze for me! I'm praying I'll be able to train in the morning without puking on someone.

Master Lloyd, Jimmy and JT leave Thursday for ADCC. Then, Oct. 1st is Mike Easton's fight.

Heaven, just let me live through the training. : ) The mat burns are healing and ready to be newly abraded. Cool thing, I had a mat burn on my ear and my face! Whoo Hoo!

All our training is no gi and the four gi's that I brought are making nice jackets to wear was the weather cools.

Right now I'm feeling more like a dumbass than a badass! I wish Mushin would return soon so we can talk about politics and philosophy.
Missing my gorgeous boyfriend a little now too! He's nothing but supportive and encouraging through this whole process.
Good night for now! Going to finish watching Anna Karenina.

Friday, September 16, 2011

A Little Extra Rest!

I didn't write anything yesterday because I was too exhausted and sore and in a foul ass mood. Training has been great and I'm certainly learning how to train when you are extremely fatigued.

I ended up pulling my hip flexor so badly it's hard for me to run or lift me leg! UGH! I sparred last night the best I could but it was in vain. I felt bad for my partner as well.

Today was awe inspiring. We had an open mat session and I rolled one round until I decided I was truly injured and needed to sit out. I got to witness the most amazing badassery ever!

On one end of the mat the MMA team was going at it and when they weren't gloved and dawning head gear they had to run around the mat until it was their turn again. On the other end I witnessed Master Lloyd tooling everyone! Fantastic! He is such a big guy but, oh so technical.

Master Lloyd ended up giving us the night off and I was elated, with both my knees are sore and the hip being fussy, I knew my body wanted rest. I came home, ate, and slept 3 hours. Tomorrow, we have a 12pm session and rest, Sunday is the only day we don't train at all.

I think I mentioned before that the training is brutal, did I mention that the training is brutal? Everything on everyone's body hurts and we all look drained. I"m excited that I lived through a week of training with Team Lloyd Irvin even though I had to do many pushups while learning the rules of the mat.

The work ethic of the scholarship students is unlike anything I've ever seen for a a group of twenty somethings. Take for instance Sijara, she's up at 8am, goes to get Master Lloyd, works until it's time to train, trains, goes back to work, trains again, work, train, then take Master Lloyd home and she's back at the Junlge around 12pm. Same for Frank, up early, train, work, train, work and then home late. They do it six days a week.

I'm worried about training on Monday already and another ass beating. The anxiety is getting better, now to take some Advil for the aches and pains. How big can a mat burn get? Wow! I'm just laughing and wondering when I'll get used to the feeling of sandpaper being rubbed on my face!

Now, off to watch a movie that brown belt Andris recommended. That goodness for a film critic here. I've already got a long list of movies to enjoy thanks to him.
Out for now!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Redemption: Sort Of

Training tonight consisted of sweeps, one and one with your partner for about a half an hour. Then, BAM! Side control escape for an hour! No shit, I'm not kidding.

Thank you Master Lloyd for at least putting me in the top position! Whoo Hoo! Of course I'm still shitting my paints, actually speedos but I'll be doing laundry later so not a problem.

I love side control but without the Gi I found it still challenging. I got to work with another great blue belt and purple belt. They were fantastic!

Afterwards I felt slightly better considering my poor performance this morning. It was great to talk to Jimmy and JT about how to work through the fatigue. These guys are so kind hearted and always encouraging. Although they made me do 20 push ups at breakfast. Booooo!

I'm having a yummy coconut milk and banana smoothie, finishing laundry and watching The Tudors. Looking forward to tomorrow with less anxiety.

And, thank you Nyjah Easton for telling me I did great tonight! WOW!!!
Goodnight World!

Vera-Oka-Floka Flame!



Today I got a total ass whooping again and afterwards kept trying to think of one thing I did correctly. I did come up with one thing and I believe me, that was about it. Is today Wednesday? I have no idea and don't want to think too much about it since the only day of rest is Sunday, so if it indeed is only Wednesday I've got 3 more days to go to stay in the bed and enjoy my voluntary coma status.

The fatigue is so bad today I found it difficult to do anything but get mounted, have my back taken and get stuck in the guard. Oh, and did I mention the other part, to get submitted? That just goes without saying of course!

We trained at 11:30am and we are getting ready to go back at 8:30 for round two. I'm so beat I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing here. And, at the same time, figure I've got to go and stick this out, especially after my 3 hour nap I just got up from. Just trying to take it all in and participate as much as possible and analyze what I need to do.

The wonderful Phil Davis left today and before departing gave me a new nickname;
Vera-Oka-Floka Flame! Now to just some how live up to it!

During one sparring session I got nice wrist lock, well dummy me left it right out there for all the world to see. And, I kept wondering if I was getting a large zit or cyst on my chin, turns out it is a nice lump and bruise for a lovely face choke. The accompanies my mouse under my right eye from last night.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Phil Davis Gets Blue Belt and a Whooping!

Another awesome training session tonight. Master Lloyd gave Phil Davis his blue belt! Next, Phil had to crawl, yes, crawl on his hands and knees up and down the mat twice for everyone to take a crack at his ass with a belt. It was crazy! I don't know what was more funny seeing this kick ass MMA fighter crawling on his hands and knees or watching all the teammates taking a crack at his backside.

I was glad to be alive and getting my ass kicked, noting how flexible my wrists as I tap tap tap.

I didn't think I could live through training 3 times in a day with a puffy inflexible knee, but indeed I did and eventhough I got tooled I left feeling great. No negative attitude. Master Lloyd and his positive thinking are infectious and it's beginning to work on me!

Thank you to all the Team Lloyd Irvin teammates who treat me like part of the team. It's truly priceless. The attitude of Sijara and Frank, talking with them today if fantastic and reassuring!
Good night and I can't wait to see what I get to do tomorrow.

One last note, sorry, I'm tired. I got to meet Brandon Vera, do some ART on Marshall, an MMA fighter and I got to touch JT Torres' feet. LOL. Seriously, I was just checking JT's ankle and foot flexibility.
Nite!

What Makes You GREAT!

What I wouldn't give for one of these right now!

It's 6:30pm and we've got one more round of training, no gi at 8:30pm. We've all done wrestling this morning at 10am and 11:30 was strength and conditioning.

Let me take a moment that the strength and conditioning is nothing short of AMAZING! Coach D'Angelo is constantly correcting us and pushing for more speed and explosiveness. And, the attention to core and hip flexibility,well, I haven't seen it anywhere else. I think the only thing saving my ass is the year of Olympic weightlifting I've done.

One thing I am beginning to understand is that you give 100% in each class and by the time you get to no gi training you are exhausted. Yesterday my knee was bothering me so I iced it during the 8:30 training, plus, I was exhausted from the training earlier that day. I spoke with the teammates today about this fatigued state and the first thing Frank Comacho told me was the idea that you come to class fatigued and work through it, just like in a competition setting. Everyone is sore and tired. Thank God, is all I could think; these people really aren't super human like I thought they were. And, this pushing through while you are dead tired is what makes you GREAT!


Another GREAT thing today was joining the circle of teammates to stretch after strength and conditioning. I'm aware I am visiting from another school but while I am here the teammates made it clear I am a part of Team Lloyd Irvin and come join the circle at the end of class.

Yeah, I know, not a big deal right? But, to someone who grew up a bookworm and didn't feel like she fit in, I was preoccupied with getting on the honor roll, this TEAM thing is still very new to me.

The idea here is no matter what the belt level to train hard with each other and push each other to the next level. Each person believes that getting his/her ass kicked makes them only one thing, BETTER!

I'm just trying to take it all in and keep up the best I can. So, far so good. We'll see what tonight holds.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Half a Bagel, The Grind and Some Puke



Bedtime here at the Jungle and after an amazing day training with Team Lloyd Irvin I can say the training is beyond anything that could be summed up with the two simple words: The Grind.

Then again, I do feel like ground hamburger meat. This morning was nothing short of brutal. Great drilling and then I noticed my anxiety rising and getting out of control. Thinking it would be a good idea to ask Master Lloyd for advice he quickly told me a story then had everyone get in a circle. I was asked to go to the center of the circle and a young woman was called on by Master Lloyd. He gave instructions to all the teammates to coach me and encourage me and that he was sure I wanted to bolt from the room at any moment. I survived the first round.

Then another round, armbar, then another round, triangle to armbar. I was tapping like I had fleas! He let us rest and I had time to go to the bathroom and puke a few times and get my barrings. Next, he asked the young lady to pull guard on me, again, again, again, again, again. All the while this team of champions was coaching me. When it was all done they told me what a great job I had done, even Master Lloyd himself told me I did well. Whew! And, to my surprise Phil Davis, UFC Champ told me I did very well and he once suffered from bad anxiety. Thank you for telling me!

I went home to eat and shower and then it was back to the gym. I did the wrestling class which was fantastic! I had so much fun! Unfortunately my knee started talking to me and it was time to rest so I missed the 8:30pm team training. But I was there to watch and take notes.

Tomorrow is wrestling, strength and conditioning and later no-gi training.
Thank heaven for the wonderful people at the Jungle who are ever encouraging! Goodnight!

Another Day Has Begun!

It's another sunny day in DC and I'm wondering what we'll be up to at Master Lloyd's. I'm still sore as shit and didn't get much sleep, reviewing moves in my head, positive thinking, and rules of the mat. I will not be doing any extra push ups today!

Just in case, I'm loading up on some caffeine.

I spent time last night writing some things down and hanging them on the wall. That's a commonality in the Jungle. Write your goals down and have them where you see them everyday. This is not a foreign practice to me, I've done it many many times with some success. Being in a house full of successes, I'm determined to stick to my guns and manifest several new patterns of thinking.

One pattern I'm working on is that of not giving a fuck and fuck them. Yeah, sounds bad but some of us have such thick skulls this is the only way to get things to seep in. Notice I didn't say sink, I wrote seep, as in to trickle in. I am so stubborn.

My right knee is still a bit swollen and sore but much better. Master Lloyd had us practice specific drills for armbars and my upper abs are sore as hell. Well, my whole body is sore but it's reassuring to know that the world champions, ADCC champs and MMA title winners are also sore.

I'm noticing one of my biggest obstacles is not only when I get mounted but what is going through my head. One recurring thought is that I'm 40 years old, what the hell am I doing here. Hell, I'll be 41 in a few weeks. All the while the team is yelling at me to get moving, I'm fighting with an endless stream of thoughts; I'm too old to be doing this, I feel weak, my opponent is so much stronger than me, my opponent is more experienced than me. And, that is just the beginning of it.

Master Lloyd has done a great job helping me so far as well as all of his students. He spoke with me about anxiety and he asked his team to help me. He was sincere, no ego, no 'I'm gonna make you a world champ in 30 days', just honest help.

The house is stirring and we'll be leaving shortly so off to brush my teeth, pray I'll live through the training and not freeze up and off we go.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Getting Some Bad Assery in DC

I arrived in DC Thursday Sept. 9 around 9pm to a house full of professional athletes. I'm on a mission to work not on my jiu jitsu technique, that is secondary. I'm here to overcome my extreme fear of competing, not only in jiu jitsu but also competing in Olympic weightlifting.

I am at Master Lloyd Irvin's! Yep, me off all people. I jumped at the opportunity after Master Lloyd himself invited me to the Jungle during a conversation about performance anxiety. Like many others my anxiety gives me an upset stomach and the occasional vomiting. But it gets much worse than that. All the weeks of training hard, all the positive self talk, all the positive everything goes out the door and I turn into a blubbering idiot full of self doubt and apprehension. I know what I am supposed to do and I know all the techniques but I cannot get beyond my fear.

I asked my own coach what he thought about me going to Master Lloyd's and he didn't hesitate to encourage me by saying 'GO'. Wow, what a great coach!

So far what I've been submerged in is total and complete badassness! Here there is no room for the term 'I can't' no place for anything but belief that anyone, yes, anyone can achieve their goals. All of the athletes are more than highly accomplished title winners or medal earners. They embody the Nike commercial - Just Do It and Honey Badgers Don't Give A Fuck- that's Mike 'The Hulk' Easton's own saying. He's smiling all the time and very polite.

Nine people and myself occupy the home known as the 'Jungle'. I am lucky enough to have been given a room to myself right across from the bathroom, which I quickly inspected and cleaned.

And, the Jungle it is! Rowdiness at all times of the day except after a hard session of training when everyone naps. The TV and video games are playing simultaneously while computers are ablaze with facebook, online courses and videos of jiu jitsu and boxing for studying purposes.

Oh, dear God, what have I walked into?
Each person is wonderful and entertaining in his or her own way and the conversations are hilarious! A young man taking a full dose of Viagra is the best so far. That's all the detail I want to give.

Friday I missed training but since my knee had been bothering me it was okay. I had time to get to the grocery and unpack everything.

Saturday I was up for anything. It started with 6am strength and conditioning that was fantastic, I was dying and smiling at the same time. Then, back home to eat and sleep and back to the gym for 3 hours of no gi training. And, I'm alive to type this. I have all my fingers and toes and sore as hell and wonder how many buses ran over me while I was asleep.

To boot I have not trained no gi in over a year and I took 10 months off training BJJ to focus on Olympic weight lifting. So, I was scared shitless. I was in a room full of professionals. I lived through the 3 hours and felt great, it was amazing. Even after the 50 push ups I had to do for saying 'I Can't' thank you very much J.T. Torres. Not to mention the other additional 50 push ups I had to do for putting my hands on the mat while in the guard and another 20 for saying a secret word at the Jungle.

All in all, I'm nervous about training tomorrow but determined to work on my mental roadblocks that keep me from performing well under the pressures of competition. On a mission to get some badassery!

After an hour of conversation about politics, honey badgers and not giving a fuck with Mushin Corbbrey and watching some bad ass videos of fights it's been a very fulfilling and restful day.

Check back tomorrow for more updates and Getting Some Bad Assery in DC. Who knows, there may be some gun powder in my breakfast!