It's another sunny day in DC and I'm wondering what we'll be up to at Master Lloyd's. I'm still sore as shit and didn't get much sleep, reviewing moves in my head, positive thinking, and rules of the mat. I will not be doing any extra push ups today!
Just in case, I'm loading up on some caffeine.
I spent time last night writing some things down and hanging them on the wall. That's a commonality in the Jungle. Write your goals down and have them where you see them everyday. This is not a foreign practice to me, I've done it many many times with some success. Being in a house full of successes, I'm determined to stick to my guns and manifest several new patterns of thinking.
One pattern I'm working on is that of not giving a fuck and fuck them. Yeah, sounds bad but some of us have such thick skulls this is the only way to get things to seep in. Notice I didn't say sink, I wrote seep, as in to trickle in. I am so stubborn.
My right knee is still a bit swollen and sore but much better. Master Lloyd had us practice specific drills for armbars and my upper abs are sore as hell. Well, my whole body is sore but it's reassuring to know that the world champions, ADCC champs and MMA title winners are also sore.
I'm noticing one of my biggest obstacles is not only when I get mounted but what is going through my head. One recurring thought is that I'm 40 years old, what the hell am I doing here. Hell, I'll be 41 in a few weeks. All the while the team is yelling at me to get moving, I'm fighting with an endless stream of thoughts; I'm too old to be doing this, I feel weak, my opponent is so much stronger than me, my opponent is more experienced than me. And, that is just the beginning of it.
Master Lloyd has done a great job helping me so far as well as all of his students. He spoke with me about anxiety and he asked his team to help me. He was sincere, no ego, no 'I'm gonna make you a world champ in 30 days', just honest help.
The house is stirring and we'll be leaving shortly so off to brush my teeth, pray I'll live through the training and not freeze up and off we go.
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